Angelica is 2 months old today!

Angelica is 2 months old today! I can hardly believe it! She had a really great appointment. She's 10 pounds, 10 ounces and 23 inches long (compared to 7 pounds, 11 ounces, and 19 1/2 inches at birth). Her weight was 50th percentile, height 75th percentile - she's tall and skinny...future supermodel maybe? The doctor (and everyone else at the office) commented on how awake and alert she is for two months...and she really is! She's a spunky one. Her head measured 15 inches, which was 45th percentile...that probably explains why she's able to hold her head up so well...it's ever so slightly below average in size (but phooey on everyone who says big heads mean smarter babies...this kid is a genius, hitting all her milestones way in advance!)

She tolerated her vaccines pretty well. She screamed for a few minutes (naturally) and then calmed down and slept a bit. She hasn't been particularly fussy either.

While we were waiting for the doctor to come in, Scott and I played with her for a little bit, and we got the beginnings of a laugh out of her. She was laying on the exam table, and Scott was leaning down on his arms on the table. She pushed herself across the table with her feet, which both of us found hilarious...and she heard us laughing and gave a huge smile and made a "heh heh" noise...SO close to a laugh! We are just seconds away from that big old belly laugh.

Next appointment is September 30th...it's funny to think about that. September 25th last year was my very first ultrasound...when I was only 5 weeks pregnant...and she was just a tiny blip...and the doctor told me she only had a 50/50 chance of making it. That just goes to show...doctors don't know everything!

Angelica is 8 weeks old (8 week post-partum appt today!)

Had my 8 week postpartum follow-up today...everything's looking good. My blood pressure was a wonderful 122/74, which was nice after months and months of being pregnant and having high blood pressure. The doctor said everything healed really nicely and that the ugly purple scar will fade to white within a few months, and that I should get most of the feeling back in my abdomen after several months have gone by. Did the birth control talk...I had no idea you have to wait for your first period following the birth to start birth control. Yuck. I don't even want to think about having a period yet! She gave me a few samples of Loestrin 24 and told me to hold off on taking them until the wonderful Aunt Flo makes her appearance.

The sweet nurse (Betty - yes, there is a Nurse Betty at my doctor's office) commented on how adorable baby Angelica is...I showed her a few pictures. Maybe next time (when I go back to get my prescription in October) I'll bring her in and show her off.

In the baby world, things are still going normally! Angelica went to sleep just before 11 last night and didn't wake me up until 6:45 this morning...she must have been tired after being awake almost all day. This child has got her circadian rhythms down really well now. She knows that daytime is awake time...and even after her morning feeding, she'll usually go to sleep for a couple of hours. But other than that, she just takes little cat naps throughout the day...I don't even try to keep her awake, she just doesn't want to sleep. It's nice, because it means she sleeps more at night (though she still usually wakes up for 1-2 feedings). I just hope she's getting enough rest! I wish I was at home to see how her awake/nap cycles really work.

That's the hardest part about being back at work, knowing that I'm the one who is out of the loop and doesn't know what her rhythms are. It makes it hard sometimes to really know what's bothering her when she's fussy. Is she tired? Is she hungry? Is she dirty? (She's developed a big intolerance for wet diapers...she gets pissed the second she wets it, it seems.)

I am trying to get her on a night time routine now though. She absolutely hates baths, so I decided we're going to bathe her nightly so she gets used to taking them and might actually start to enjoy it. So her bedtime routine will be bath, dress, swaddle, bottle...last night it worked out nicely, she finished her bottle and went right to sleep (and slept until 6:45 this morning!)

My biggest worry (and one that I'll bring up to her pediatrician next week at her 2 month appointment) is that she seems to fuss a lot more than other babies I know. She doesn't seem to like any of the normal things that soothe babies. She'll only let us put her down when she's asleep (or almost asleep), she's not a big fan of the pacifier, she'll sleep in the swing but only if she's already falling asleep...and when we go out, we have to make it quick because she hates being in her carseat and the stroller. She seems like just such a sensitive little soul and gets upset so easily. I just wonder if there's anything we can do to make her a little calmer.

Anyway, I'm gonna go take care of the pumping business and get to work so I can leave with a clean conscience and an empty inbox!

Angelica's Mommy Survives the Return to Work...

So far, we've survived the first few days of being back at work. I won't lie and say it's been easy. It's probably been the most difficult thing I've ever had to do, to have been with Angelica day and in and day out over most of the past year (while I was pregnant and on maternity leave). I think we're transitioning okay. She's been hanging out with her Grandma Tammy this week and seems to be loving it, and it makes me feel good to know she's in good hands.

This morning was a good morning. It started off with Scott getting up with her around 5:30 or 6...then right before 7 she woke up again, letting out a huge shriek that scared the crap out of me. As soon as I picked her up, she quieted right down though, and we snuggled in bed for about an hour. That's probably my most favorite thing to do, and trust me, the rest of the day can only go down from there.

Angelica's Mommy Returns to Work

July 17, 2007 - I was offered and accepted my current job.
July 17, 2008 - I returned to work after exactly 7 weeks of maternity leave.
Coincidence? Yep, probably.

So far my first day back has been pretty good. I miss my little one...I keep thinking about how this time yesterday, she and I were snuggled together on the sofa watching TV, and how the days of doing that every morning are gone. I'm glad I had them though. We had a great time together and I know even though I'm back at work, there are many good memories left to be made.

Angelica's Mommy Thinks About Emotions

Before I start on the meat of this entry, check out this cute picture of Angelica from the 4th of July! She's become quite the charmer. She had such a good time at the party we went to...didn't even cry during the fireworks!

Anyway...

One of the things that I've found about parenthood (or at least motherhood, I can't speak for Scott) is the shift in emotions. I've struggled with a lot of change over the past few years and dealt with a lot of negative situations and somewhere in there I lost the fundamental ability to see the silver lining in every situation, and lost touch with my emotions - a big part of which was my overwhelming optimism.

I think being a mom has completely overhauled that whole way of thinking. For Angelica, I have to look for the silver lining all the time so that she will learn to see the good in the world - especially in the tough times in which she's being raised. Because I'm in tune with her emotions, I've become more in tune with my own. And because of both of those, I've become more in touch with myself. And all of this combined has done wonders for my self esteem.

If I can find the silver lining in a day where I've had no sleep, I feel sick, haven't eaten, and still been able to soothe a crying, colicky baby, well - there really isn't anything that I can't do!

As challenging as they have been, I'm truly going to miss these days when I go back to work on the 17th.